


beside you

by inimitabler



Category: Glee
Genre: AU obviously, F/F, Light Angst, Secret Relationship, check description for brief trigger warning, i wrote another faberry oneshot who's surprised, it's more depressing than i had anticipated but oh well, it's sweet too, they talk about the future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:54:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29986647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inimitabler/pseuds/inimitabler
Summary: In which Quinn and Rachel are secretly dating, and it's senior year, and discussion of the future in Glee club has them wondering if their images of the future include each other.
Relationships: Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray
Comments: 10
Kudos: 86





	beside you

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during and after the group auditorium scene in 3x14. Inspired by an idea I had months ago about Rachel and Quinn secretly dating and their reaction to Blaine saying he wants to see marriage equality in all fifty states. 
> 
> I just wrote this today, so bare with me. It got a bit sadder and heavier than I had anticipated, but I suppose it will do. Title from the song Beside You by Mariana's Trench, which I am in love with. Trigger warning for implied discussion of suicide. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)

Sitting in the auditorium, Quinn is reminded of how she got to this place in her life. As Mr. Schue talks about life experiences and missing out on them, Quinn can’t help but think about all of the milestones she has already achieved in just her eighteen years of life.

She’s had her first kiss, first boyfriend, second kiss, second boyfriend, and then some. She’s moved, once for her father’s work, then again out of her own home, not by choice but at her father’s decision. She’s gotten a nose job. She’s gotten into her dream school. She’s been through heartbreak. She’s been through loss. She’s had a child—she’s learned what true selflessness is. She’s reinvented herself time and time again.

She’s fallen in love. Never with a boy, but with a girl. A short brunette who, by some God-given miracle, loves her back. Quinn has learned what it means to love someone in spite of their flaws, and she’s learned what it means to be loved in the same way.

She’s had her dark moments, too. Though Quinn has never admitted it to anyone, she’s come close to those points of no return, those moments that Mr. Schue is talking about. She’s been so low she never thought she’d come back from it. But she did come back, and she’s better now than she has been in years, and the recognition of that growth is what keeps her going.

That, and having Rachel by her side. 

Both metaphorically, for the past several months, and literally, right now, as they sit side by side on the floor of the auditorium stage. As their relationship has developed over the course of the year, so has their friendship, to the point where they can sit together, and none of their friends will give them strange looks. In their eyes, she and Rachel have grown to become close friends. Sometimes they share looks with each other, spare glances that none of them understand, nor do they try to understand; they recognize that Quinn and Rachel’s friendship has always been strange and indefinable.

Quinn is pulled from her thoughts when she hears Sam begin by saying, “Someday, I want to earn enough money to buy my folks a new place, so they don’t ever have to go through losing their home again.”

She smiles at his admission and leans over, past Mercedes to her left, to poke Sam’s leg gently. He smiles back at her, and Mercedes shoos Quinn off of her before she says, “I want to win a Grammy.” Her statement earns whistles from their friends, and Mercedes grins as she adds, “Oh, and I’m looking forward to meeting Rachel Berry’s children.”

Quinn’s eyes widen, and she turns to watch her girlfriend mouth, _Thank you_ , and press her hands to her heart. Quinn’s cheeks flush red, and she drops her head to hide the smile on her face. As Artie starts to speak, she feels Mercedes nudge her, and Quinn looks up to see a knowing look on her friend’s face. She feels her stomach drop when Mercedes nods her head towards Rachel, then back to her, and she knows she needs to say something, but Mercedes shakes her head and mouths, _Later_ , before she can. Quinn nods to herself, presses a grateful hand to Mercedes’ leg, and returns her focus to her friends.

After Finn talks about his dad, there’s a moment of silence, and Quinn decides to chime in, “I’m looking forward to graduating from Yale at the top of my class.”

She feels Rachel nudge her, and Quinn’s face grows warm at the proud smile and admiration on her girlfriend’s face. But her mood is briefly shot down when she hears Santana admit, “I’m looking forward to the day when my grandmother loves me again.”

Quinn is reminded of her own father and his shortcomings. Despite her attempts to move on, she harbors hope that someday he will come around, like Santana does with her grandmother. However, at least for Quinn, she knows that her hope is misguided. Her father, among many things, is stubborn, and if his distaste for her already wasn’t enough, she knows the knowledge of her sexuality would drive him away for good. She’s learning to make peace with that, and it hasn’t been easy, but the love and support of Rachel and her dads have been a tremendous help. 

She’s pulled out of her thoughts yet again when she hears Blaine say, “I’m looking forward to marriage equality in all fifty states,” and she finds herself already looking at Rachel as his words come out.

Rachel turns her head to look at her, their eyes locking. Quinn feels her eyes gloss over at the thought; the future is uncertain, but the thought of having a future with Rachel, one that involves a wedding and marriage and children, is beyond her wildest dreams. She sees Rachel smile at her, a knowing look in her eyes, and Quinn knows Rachel is having similar thoughts. 

No one seems to notice the little moment they share, and it’s probably for the best. 

Rachel is the one of the last to share their hopes for the future, and she tears her eyes away from Quinn to look at the Glee club when she says, “I’m looking forward to being friends with all of you for the rest of my life.”

Quinn can’t hide the flush in her cheeks at Rachel’s admission. She takes Rachel’s hand, pulling it behind their backs and enlacing their fingers together. She sees the grin on her girlfriend’s face, and it tides her over until they are alone in the auditorium after everyone else has left. 

Slowly, Rachel stands up, still holding onto Quinn’s hand, tugging her up with her and into the center of the stage. She faces outwards into the empty rows of seats, and Quinn watches her carefully.

“You know, this really does feel like home,” She says softly.

Quinn quirks an eyebrow. “This school?”

“No,” Rachel says, “The stage. Not this one in particular, of course, but in general. Though, now that I think about it, I have made a lot of memories on this stage. I had my first kiss right over there,” She gestures to her right, continuing, “And this is where you told me I didn’t belong here, in this town. That was when I knew how much you believed in me.”

Quinn nods, recalling the memory with ease. It feels like ages ago, arguing with Rachel on this stage, pushing the girl to tears as she told her that she was going to end up with Finn instead of her. It was just a year ago, and yet so much has changed.

“You told me you loved me for the first time on this stage,” Rachel says wistfully, her eyes gleaming.

“Yeah, it only took me two weeks after you’d already said it,” Quinn says, rolling her eyes at herself. She doesn’t know what she had been so scared of. 

(She does, in fact, know, but those fears and doubts are long gone.)

Rachel shakes her head. “Hey, it was a really sweet moment. It’s one of my favorite memories.”

“Rachel, I was a mess.”

“You were nervous, and it was very cute, and I don’t want to hear another word about it,” Rachel demands, and Quinn falls quiet. “That’s what I thought. Anyway, I was just thinking about the stage and… and my future.”

“Seems to be the topic of the day,” Quinn says.

“Well, yes, I suppose so,” Rachel mumbles to herself, “I know we haven’t talked much about it, given the recentness of our relationship. And-and I know you’re going to be in New Haven, and I will likely be in New York, if not at NYADA, then—”

Here, Quinn interrupts, “You will definitely be at NYADA, baby.”

She smiles shyly before she continues, “Regardless, I will almost certainly be in the city. And I know we both have bright futures ahead of us, and I know you are going to be doing incredible things at Yale because you are the most amazing person I know. I guess I just want to know if you… if you see me there with you.”

“Well, I would hope you would come visit me on occasion,” Quinn quips, but Rachel shakes her head in response.

“No, I mean if you see me… still as your girlfriend.”

Quinn’s jaw drops. She didn’t even know Rachel was concerned about this. “Rachel, what—”

“I’m not naive enough to think that it’s going to be easy for us if we stay together, and we’re both going to be learning so much about ourselves and changing and evolving, and there are going to be so many girls at Yale that would kill for a chance to be with you, and—”

“Rachel,” Quinn cuts her off, hearing Rachel’s breathing picking up, “I love you.”

Rachel sighs, “I know you do, and I love you, too, but…”

“But what?” Quinn asks. She has no idea why Rachel would be doubting the future of their relationship unless, “Do you… do you not see us being together?”

Rachel is quick to explain, “Of course I do! I want nothing more than to be with you for… well, for as long as I can imagine,” Rachel admits shyly, dropping her gaze. “I see you with me in New York on weekends, and summers, and-and maybe even every day once we graduate, but I have a tendency to get myself too wrapped up in my own hopes and dreams to see what other people want, and then I inevitably get myself hurt when they don’t want the same things that I do.”

Quinn sucks in a deep breath before she says, “Rachel, I want all of those things.”

“Really?” Rachel asks, a hint of awe in her voice.

Quinn nods her confirmation. “Rach, I…” She trails off, debating her next words. Seeing the love reflected in her girlfriend’s eyes, it is all the reassurance she needs to admit, “I was in a bad place over the summer. A really bad place. Like, the kind of stuff that Mr. Schue was talking about? Yeah, I was in that place.”

Rachel gasps at her confession, and Quinn shrugs as she continues, “It wasn’t good for a while. _I_ wasn’t good for a while. But you came to me at the beginning of the year when I was with the Skanks, and you were talking about all of the memories you were looking forward to this year, and it… it gave me a little bit of hope again. And then we grew closer and became friends, and then more than friends, and I kept being reminded of all of the good things in life.”

Quinn stretches out her arms to take Rachel’s hands and lace their fingers together. “You have helped me so much. And, no, you’re not the only thing that makes me happy, but you’re a big part of it, and I wouldn’t throw this away over some silly notion that we might not last. I love you too much to do that.”

Suddenly, Quinn feels the tears in her own eyes, and she sees them in Rachel’s as well. “Quinn, I’m so sorry, I had no idea,” Rachel chokes out.

“It’s okay,” Quinn assures her, “You couldn’t have known.”

“I should have,” She insists.

“But you couldn’t,” Quinn refutes, “Because if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s hiding my feelings.”

Rachel rolls her eyes. “You are good at many things besides that. But… I need you to promise me that if you ever get to that place again that you’ll talk to someone about it, okay? Please.”

“I promise,” Quinn says, “I love you so much, Rachel, and there’s nothing more that I want than a future with you. It becomes clearer and clearer every day.”

Quinn’s words have the intended effect, watching as Rachel’s expression turns bashful, her cheeks tinting red. Rachel steps closer to her, stretching up onto her toes and capturing Quinn’s lips in a gentle kiss. Quinn’s eyes flutter shut, and she releases Rachel’s hands to wrap her arms around her girlfriend’s waist. She relishes in the feeling of Rachel’s lips against her own, the kiss sending a familiar warmth through her body. After a moment, Rachel pulls away and tilts her head down, resting it against Quinn’s shoulder as she maneuvers them into a tight embrace. 

“I love you, too, Quinn. So much,” Quinn hears Rachel’s whispered voice close to her ear.

They remain on the stage like this, hugging each other close, as if they are too afraid to let go, but Quinn has no intention of doing so. She wants Rachel by her side for the rest of time because, after everything today, she is sure of one thing.

Their relationship is built to last. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are always appreciated.


End file.
